


As Close As

by InfiniteCrisis



Series: Hands and Feet verse [2]
Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Child Abuse, M/M, Odin is still an asshole but not really in this story so yay for that, Sex, Sibling Incest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-25
Updated: 2016-01-25
Packaged: 2018-05-16 04:59:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5815144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InfiniteCrisis/pseuds/InfiniteCrisis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sequel to 'Hands and Feet'.  Thor tends to Loki's wounds, things get a little Flowers in the Attic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	As Close As

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings for explicit sibling incest. Also, Thor and Loki are both teenagers here, and therefore possibly considered underage depending on where you live.

 

 

 

 _Normally you’d be doing this for me, little brother_ , Thor thought as he gently rubbed soothing balm over Loki’s discolored, aching skin.

 

Their father was still downstairs, passed out drunk on the same sofa he’d left Loki bent over half-naked and hurting through dinner before finally letting him stumble up to his room.

 

Loki lay face down, the bottoms of his PJs pulled down just enough to let Thor do what pathetically little his could to make him feel better. He sat on the edge of Loki’s bed, which wasn’t large, but Loki didn’t take up much space, so there was still plenty of room for him. Not because Loki was particularly small, he just…didn’t take up much space.

 

They hadn’t spoken. Thor had showed up at Loki’s door after readying himself for bed, just as Loki had done so many times before, and Loki had let him in without a word, laying down and lowering the waist of his pajamas. His arms were folded under his head, face half-hidden as he stared vacantly at nothing. Thor wanted to say something, but ‘I’m sorry’ just seemed so utterly…useless.

 

“You never said how bad it was, for you,” Thor said eventually. “Watching, I mean.”

 

Loki lifted his head slightly, still never quite looking at him, and shrugged. He put his head back down.

 

“He’ll do this from now on, for a while anyway,” said Loki after a moment. “Since he thinks it works.”

 

 _It does work_ , Thor thought bitterly, feeling cold in his chest.

 

“I won’t give him reason to do this again,” Thor said firmly.

 

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep,” said Loki softly. He didn’t sound angry. Just…empty.

 

“So, what do we do?” Thor asked, trying not to sound as lost as he felt.

 

“Do?” Loki looked up at him. “Same as always. One day, then another, and on and on. Nothing’s changed.”

 

“It has changed,” Thor whispered stiffly.

 

“Why?” Loki demanded, suddenly fierce. “Because he hurt me?” He snorted, quiet and bitter. “He’s always hurt me. Just not the same way he hurt you.” Thor lowered his eyes.

 

“This wasn’t fair,” Thor murmured, sounding petulant even to his own ears.

 

“As opposed to what? What he usually does?” Loki said scornfully.

 

Thor looked away, finishing with Loki’s injuries. When he was done, he placed the jar on Loki’s night table.

 

For a moment, they were both quiet. Then, Loki reached for the jar, opening it again, before taking Thor’s right hand in his.

 

Thor jerked back. “I don’t—“

 

“Don’t be stubborn,” Loki cut in calmly. He turned the hand over, opening the palm to reveal deep, red lines—marks from where Thor had gripped the belt, clearly far too tightly. Smoothly, Loki dipped with his fingers and began coating the wounds in soothing ointment.

 

“You don’t have to do that,” Thor half-assured, half-pleaded. Loki made no sign he had even heard him. After a moment, he spoke quietly, as Loki rubbed a thumb along Thor’s palm. “I only have to finish this year, then I can get a work study. They don’t pay much, but I might be able to get a place. At least be out of the house.”

 

“And leave me here? With him?” The look on his brother’s face could only be described as ‘betrayed.’ “Alone?”

 

“You’d probably be better off,” Thor mumbled, throat thick.

 

“No I wouldn’t,” Loki said quickly, letting go of Thor’s hand. “Do you think I’m always trying to get you to behave, to do what he likes, because I _agree_ with him? Because I’m on his side?” He bit his lip, fists gripping into the pillow, then, as though a dam were breaking. “I _hate_ him. I’ve hated him for—since the first time he hit you, the first time he—“ He broke off, choking. He turned his face away, squeezing his eyes shut. “I hate him so much sometimes it’s all I can feel.”

 

Thor silently replaced the lid on the jar, and put it back on the night table. He flexed his hand, remembering the savage coldness he’d found in himself as he’d beaten his brother.

 

“You should hate me too,” he said quietly.

 

“Never,” Loki hissed viciously, turning sharply. His eyes glittered in the low light, hard and brittle. For a moment, they only looked at each other.

 

Then Loki kissed him.

 

Thor hardly realized what had happened at first, Loki had moved so easily, his eyes falling closed as their lips touched.

 

Thor broke away, eyes snapping wide to stare at his brother, now barely inches from him. He said nothing, only gaped, stupidly. Loki stared back at him, eyes unblinking and painfully bright.

 

“Loki—“

 

He leaned in again, this time catching a bit of Thor’s lip between his own. Thor wrenched himself away, even as his eyes fell closed and his face flushed dangerously.

 

“—Stop, this is—“ There was a word here, an important word. “—Wrong.” So, so wrong.  

 

“Everything in this house is wrong,” Loki whispered ruthlessly. “Why should we be any different?”

 

Thor wasn’t actually able to think of anything to say to that, although he knew he should. And when Loki leaned in once more, reaching up a hand to the side of his face, he opened his mouth.

 

Loki’s mouth was wet and welcomed him like an old friend, tongue sly and coaxing, lips left open and panting. A grab to Loki’s thigh, a swing of hips, and then Thor was facing outward from the bed with Loki kneeling, straddled, across his lap.

 

Thor had got off with a few girls before, but it had never been like this, all blistering hot and coolly soothing at once. He wrapped his arms around Loki’s back and breathed him in until he could no longer tell whose breath was whose. Loki took his face in both hands, their lips barely touching but mouths open and gasping, and pressed downward, grinding their hips together.

 

If he hadn’t been hard before, he was now. And so was Loki, he could feel quite plainly.

 

They separated, if you could call it that, enough for him to look down between them, thin pajama fabric doing nothing to hide their shame. What should be shame, Thor thought, though he couldn’t seem to find it in him. Not, in any case, the cruel, burning, shame he’d felt as he’d heaved up his stomach earlier that night, the smell of sweat and leather still fresh and eroding.

 

He pulled down the front of his brother’s pajamas and underwear with surprisingly—distressingly—steady hands. He wrapped his brother in his hand, palm still aching, and listened ardently as he gasped and groaned. Loki cupped him through his pants, and then Thor was falling backwards on the bed, one of Loki’s hands on his chest as the other slipped down below his waistband.

 

Loki took him out while kissing him fervidly, and hugged him tightly with his knees as he pressed them together from breast to groin. Thor grabbed the back of Loki’s thighs and hardness found hardness as Loki arched and curved his hips against him, each wave of pleasure accompanied by muffled moans into each other’s lips.  

 

Thor dug his fingers into Loki’s undulating muscles, trying to draw him ever closer, losing and remaking his grip again and again. He moved farther and farther up Loki’s legs, bit by bit, hardly realizing it, only knowing that he craved _more_ , and it was in that state that he gripped Loki’s backside in two hands, so he could _pull_ him to where he needed him.

 

Loki bucked away from him and cried out, barely loud enough to be heard. Immediately, Thor’s hands were gone, dropping like dead branches on the bed. Thor swallowed thickly, eyes wide and horrified.

 

“I…I’m sorry, I—“ But Loki was shaking his head and placed a hand over his mouth to stop him speaking. He kept shaking his head, eyes screwed up and turned inward, and Thor wasn’t sure what exactly he was so vehemently denying, but he couldn’t seem to stop.

 

“Shh,” was all he said when he finally spoke. “ _Shhh.”_ And he took his hand away and kissed him, still making soft hushing sounds against his mouth. He kissed him hard, teeth clashing, and bit at Thor lips not quite savagely, then took Thor’s wrists in hand. Determinedly, he placed Thor’s palms against his ruined flesh, enveloping Thor’s fingers in his own and urged them to press in with greater force. A moment passed, and Thor did as he was bid.

 

Loki gasped as Thor’s fingers dug into him, then snarled, bringing his hands to Thor’s hair and attacking his mouth with even greater ferocity. Thor held him and watched with open eyes as much as he could. Loki’s face was twisted, a mask of fury, directed, Thor knew, not at him, but _through_ him. He bared his teeth, and clutched at Thor with gnarled fingers, and wept angry, bitter, silent tears, and Thor only held him tighter, closer, a part of him willing his brother to crueler, more violent expressions.

 

They never came though. Instead, Loki reached behind brought Thor’s hand between his cheeks. He rubbed with Thor’s thick fingers along the soft, intimate skin, and then found an opening and rocked back until Thor understood and pressed one of them inside.

 

“ _Uhn”,_ he gasped quietly, eyes falling closed as he stilled completely.

 

“Does…does that hurt?” Thor asked gruffly, when Loki did nothing.

 

“It…” Loki paused. “It everythings,” he said at last, rasping.

 

Loki was sitting back up, and Thor rose with him, one hand steadying his brother’s hips and the other knuckle deep inside him. Loki took hold off his shoulders, bunching into the fabric of his shirt, and pushed down, taking the rest of the finger. It felt rough, to Thor, but Loki rose up on his knees and came down again till the finger went in and out smoothly, even as Loki winced at each shuddering breach.

 

“Do you…” Loki started, gasping, then swallowed hard and brought one hand down Thor’s chest till his palm sat, fingers pointed down, at Thor’s belly. “Do you think you would fit?”

 

“I…” Thor blinked, not even pretending not to take Loki’s meaning. “I don’t—“

 

“We could try,” Loki urged quickly, taking Thor in hand. “Please,” he cupped Thor’s cheek with his other hand and kissed his neck. “I’ll never ask again, not for anything. Just, please, just once.”

 

Thor moved hands to Loki’s hips and pushed him back. Loki went, reluctantly, head bowed in defeat. Thor looked over his face—the sweat-glazed brow, flushed cheeks, kissed-red lips.

 

“I’ll be right back,” he spoke firmly, catching Loki’s eyes. Loki blinked, then seemed to understand, and let him go.

 

He pulled up his PJs, and moved quietly to his room and retrieved a tube of K-Y jelly from its hiding place. It was yet another thing he would be punished for if his father found out, something he wouldn’t have cared about a few hours ago. He paused in the hallway on the way back, watching the light from the television flicker from downstairs, which meant his father still hadn’t woken.

 

When he opened the door to Loki’s room, he found his brother bent over the bed and completely missing his pajama bottoms.

 

Thor stopped in his tracks, his grip on the tube tightening involuntarily. All he could see was destruction—black-blue slashing Loki’s flesh like the burnt aftermath of a fire.

 

He blinked, throat constricting painfully.

 

Loki looked over his shoulder, saw his face, and stood.

 

“I’m sorry,” said Loki, and he sounded like he meant it. “I’m sorry, you don’t have to…I shouldn’t have…”

 

Thor closed the door and walked to his brother. He put one hand on his arm and pulled him to the bed. Without words, he bid his brother lie beside him. They shared a pillow, faces bare breaths apart. Eyes never leaving each other, Thor put a hand on his brother’s knee, and guided it up over his own. Then, he squeezed the K-Y onto his fingers and reached between his brother’s legs.

 

Loki’s eyes fell closed at the first touch of the cool jelly, lips parting as he gasped lightly, and then wrapped his leg further around Thor, drawing them in closer. When Thor brought his hand up for more gel, Loki slipped an arm around his waist and buried his face against his shoulder.

 

Thor went slowly, one finger, and then a second, making sure he could move smoothly, easily, before proceeding onward. Loki only ever made small, contented moans into Thor’s chest, his own expanding against him in quick, shallow gasps. When he added a third, Loki groaned and panted wetly against Thor’s shirt.

 

Thor could not believe how easily Loki opened for him, stretching gamely around his fingers as the jelly slicked thoroughly. Impossibly soon, it seemed perfectly likely he could slip inside.

 

He withdrew, caressing and fondling the soft flesh he met along his way, and wrapped his hand around where his brother lay stiff between them, stroking gently. His other hand brushed delicately over Loki’s hair.

 

“Can you turn around?” he whispered lowly.

 

Loki raised his eyes to him, and smiled.

 

Thor shifted away just enough to give him room as Loki carefully maneuvered to lie on his other side. Thor slipped off his pants, slicked himself, and then pressed in close against Loki’s back, though he was still mindful of his bruising. Loki pressed back against him, and lifted one knee up toward his chest. His eyes were closed, expression soft, as though he was listening to some beautiful music only he could hear.

 

Thor took himself in hand, placing himself, and paused. There would be no way to do this while avoiding Loki’s hurts completely. He looked back to Loki, who lay calm and patient, biting his lip gently in anticipation.

 

He pushed inside.

 

Loki moaned.

 

Thor wrapped both his arms around Loki, pressing his lips at the crook of Loki’s shoulder, and pulled them together till there was nothing between them. They lay motionless a moment, breathing, and Thor’s eyes fell closed as he inhaled his brother into him.

 

Loki felt like he was made for him.

 

A shift in his hips, and then he was sliding in and out, gasping lowly and planting wet kisses on the back of Loki’s neck. Loki in turn shifted against and around him, but never once tried to pull away. Thor took Loki’s erection in hand, stroking mindfully, while Loki arched his back and leaned his head against Thor’s shoulder, face tilted up and eyes closed as small, aborted _ah ah_ s escaped through parted lips.

 

Thor’s eyes stayed open, transfixed as he watched his brother’s ecstasy.            

 

Loki spilled over Thor’s fingers just as Thor emptied himself deep inside Loki. There was no way to tell who had begun to climax first and triggered the other. They came together. As one.

 

They lay like that a long time, wrapped in each other, Thor softening but still inside his brother.

 

“I could come with you.”

 

Thor blinked at Loki’s softly soften words. “…What?”

 

Loki turned his head, just enough so he could glance into Thor’s eyes. “When you leave. I could go with you. We could…we could stay together.” His voice dropped even quieter. “…Just like this.”

 

Something fluttered in Thor’s chest, like the fiercely beating wings of a great bird.

 

“Loki…” Thor said hesitantly. Slowly, they slid apart. Loki turned, and they lay face to face once more. It was clear now, things had changed between them. There would be no going back, Thor realized, staring into Loki’s gently glistening face. But, that didn’t mean they could…that they should…

 

“We could go someplace new,” Loki pressed on in a fervid, hopeful, whisper. “No one would have to know.”

 

“Loki…what…what if…” Thor trailed off indistinctly. If they were caught, if someone saw them…they would have to be so careful, to never touch, never kiss, never give anything away, not where anyone could see—

 

“ _No one would have to know we’re brothers_ ,” Loki hissed, eyes shining and fearsome.

 

Thor’s heart skipped.

 

“I could change my name,” Loki went on, more subdued and quietly desperate. “We don’t look alike, it…it could work.” He gave a shaky smile. Unshed tears made his eyes glint like emeralds. “We…we could be together.” Loki’s voice hitched and his lips trembled. “If…” He swallowed thickly. “If you want to.”

 

 _Please_ , everything in Loki’s face seemed to beg. _Please don’t leave me_.        

 

As if he could.

 

“We’ll always be together,” Thor murmured, tucking a loose, dark hair behind Loki’s ear. “Whatever happens. I promise.”

 

Loki smiled—like the moon; soft and slightly hidden, but still bright. Thor cupped his cheek in his palm, then crossed the bare inches between them and pressed their lips together. Kissing Loki felt like water, like fire, like air.

 

“I won’t let him hurt you again,” Thor rumbled viciously into Loki’s lips, a stony recklessness solidifying over his skin. “If he tries, I’ll kill him.”

 

Loki laughed quietly, pleased and sad and amused. “No,” he said shaking his head. “No, we can’t risk that. If you were caught...” he swallowed. “Nothing he does…could ever do to me, would be worse than losing you.” He regarded Thor somberly. “I couldn’t bear that. I can bear everything else.”

 

Loki was an expert in enduring. They both were, he supposed.

 

“You won’t have to forever,” Thor assured him. For the first time, he could really, truly imagine a time after all this, a place away from here.

 

“No,” Loki agreed. “Not forever.” Loki took Thor’s face in his hands, planting another deep kiss on his lips. “I will take such good care of you,” he purred seductively. “Always.”

 

 _That’s supposed to be my line, little brother_ , Thor thought sadly. He’d done a poor job of it so far, but he would learn, he would get better at it, and, in time, nothing would ever hurt Loki again. He’d be everything that Loki needed, and maybe one day, that sick coldness in his stomach would finally go away and he’d forget the smell of leather and sweat in the dark.

 

“I love you,” Loki swore gravely, gazing into Thor’s face. “Never forget that.”

 

Thor didn’t doubt it. Eventually, if he was lucky, maybe he could grow to be worthy of it.

 

He stayed with Loki in his bed for as long as they dared, and then crept back to his own room. He lay awake, staring at the ceiling, till the light of morning slid through his window. He’d wondered if the harshness of day would change how he felt, would make him question what they’d decided, what they’d done. But, if anything, it only made things more clear.

 

He needed Loki. And more than that, Loki needed him. He couldn’t walk away. Whatever else, he couldn’t leave Loki alone, not ever.

 

 _We’ll always be together_.

 

They’d find a way, he promised himself. Whatever it took, he’d make sure Loki was never alone.

 

He flexed his right hand, still sore from the bite of the belt against his palm.

 

Never again.   

  


End file.
